Forgiving someone for the damage they caused you might be difficult but forgiving yourself is something that most people find next to impossible. Humans are not perfect and mistakes are prevalent. What distinguishes us from other living creatures is our will power to learn from our mistakes and make yourself a better human being. The first step towards that is forgiving yourself despite of the magnitude of your mistake and find a way to move past it. Here are 4 steps to forgive yourself truly and transform into a healed and new person.
- Clarify the responsibility
Sometimes, usually in cases of childhood trauma and abuse, we keep blaming ourselves for things that were out of our control. The key to forgiving yourself is finding out the root cause of your issue and clarifying the parties responsible for making you act that way. It’s not always one person’s fault. You might feel self-condemned for being sensitive to trust, wanting love or feeling pleasure however you shouldn’t hold yourself accountable for feeling so.
- Renounce your pride
Even though you might not intend to be proud but assuming that you are beyond God’s grace and can never be forgiven is still pride. According to 2 Corinthians 7:10 “For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death”. Instead of self-justifying your behavior or mistakes, you should acknowledge that you were wrong and ask for God’s forgiveness without making assumptions of how worthy you are of it.
- Seek amendment
God's forgiveness inspires us to pursue rehabilitation, make reparations, and seek peace with those we have wronged or who have wronged us. When we accept our adult responsibilities and impacts on others, request for and receive forgiveness from others, and mend broken connections, our own belief of God's mercy and kindness is strengthened by the compassion of the one we have harmed. Moreover attend rehabilitation seminars and workshops to talk about your guilt while seeking therapy.
- Spread love
Since love has always been costly, it opens us up to potential sorrow as well as deeper relationships, it necessitates bravery and audacity. Our inability to forgive ourselves might be a rationale for protecting oneself from more grief. Love and closeness, on the other hand, are only conceivable when we are open to being harmed again. Because our inability to forgive ourselves impedes our ability to love others, having love for others can help us forgive and heal ourselves.
Counselling and meditation can help you clarify responsibility and bring yourself to forgive yourself. It’s never too late to seek forgiveness. Once you do, you will be able to look in the mirror more confidently knowing you’re a better person now.